Can’t Make Negative Cake

“It’s impossible” — Even Toyota

4 min readJan 19, 2020

Welcome to the cakeverse. Let’s put those pastry goggles on and get things going.

I have a kitchen?

“wuuush” (teleportation sound). Here we are, in the kitchen. A kitchen, in which one makes cake. Before bringing said cake to the world.

Look at the tools! The stove is the same model mom has. The sink is similar to the one dad uses, although that brush I’ve seen before at grandpa’s.

*********, I scream, limping on one leg. Who puts a corner there??

Wait! This has happened before. Such a mess just because of a corner? If only I knew.

Well, let’s remove it.

Okay, moving on.

What’s up with this Kitchen?

The kitchen seems to be the home base. Production facility of basic cake. Supplier of fuel for the adventures of yours truly. The kitchen is exclusively for cake. Only weirdos bring salad.

For any situation awaiting me outside the kitchen, I choose.

Birthday party? — I make cake. Job interview? — I make cake. Wolf? — I make cake.

Very big wolf? — I don’t make cake. I’ll stay inside.

Let me be clear. I’m not preaching cakeism. (Although that sounds like a neat job)

Most times, the cake is just a backup. It’s a talisman to use when stuff gets overwhelming.